I'm starting to realize just how un-confident I have been in the past and in the present. I don't know if my confidence is improving at all, but I know that it's a sad and alerting feeling. I've been cowering in my own shadow and in the shadows of others. People see me as someone whose confident, yet my actions do not seem to match that notion.
I avoid so many things because I'm afraid I will fail. I'm so worried about my own future, because I just don't know what to do or where to go. I'm angry at the fact that my family seems so indifferent to what I do, and I never feel completely right in turning to them to help. I wish they would take my emotions seriously. It would make me feel better about coming to them. I feel isolated and alone sometimes, but I still enjoy the solitude. I want to get involved with a spiritual group so that maybe I could life my own spirits.
Why do not I not feel happy? Why am I so afraid of myself? Why don't I believe in my own capabilities? Why won't I try?
What am I going to do?
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