really it has. A lot has happened since my last post, like graduating college, having a fabulous summer in the city, various ups and downs, ins and outs. Now it's fall and quickly becoming chilly outside. Life is coming together beautifully. All because I let it all go to the universe. One day earlier this month after a silly yet stressful mix up in my schedule, I was on the verge of tears and I said to the higher power
I GIVE UP! I'm giving this all to you, you handle this, I'm tired of fighting and struggling to make things work,
I AM DONE. YOU DO IT! I let my other plans for the day go out the window as I walked around the city aimlessly. In my aimlessness I found some joy in picking up a magazine about like minded people with interests similar to my own. I read various articles that made me smile, one in particular cemented my flirtations with vegetarianism. I came home in a state much better than when I left it.
And then magically things just started happening for me. All my fruitless job applications that I would email out every morning suddenly came through in a phone call on a Sunday afternoon while eating lunch with one of my girlfriends. All my sudden mistakes with driving came out fine when I passed my road test with no trouble. All those little pieces of the puzzle were starting to fall into place, and I wasn't doing a thing to make it happen. I gave it all up to the universe. I sat there quietly and content sending up my thoughts and dreams for success, I took pleasure in all the little things and in the big things. I smiled more, I laughed more, I journal and meditated daily, I lived in a space of happiness and bliss knowing that the universe would serve me if I was willing to receive it's gifts. How could it have served me before if I was so intent on doing it on me own? If I was fighting so hard and agonizing over it all, how could the universe give me the simple gifts I was asking for, how could it give gifts to someone who was not happy? Unhappy people don't usually receive gifts well... happy people do.
Everyday is a new day, and everyday I allow happiness to find me. I allow joy to sit with me. I take pleasure in the little things, and the universe is happy to serve me, and I am happy to served. Its really quite simple, so simple it's almost difficult. Especially when all my life I've been told that you must work hard to get what you want in life. You must fight and struggle to get what you need. And then to realize that it isn't so... a mindfuck. Its hard to not feel like I'm being lazy when all my desires come to me without sweat, blood and tears. I envision it and sit patiently as I occupy myself with the things I enjoy ( reading, meditating, yoga, friends and partner) and tada... what I want appears.
Sometimes you just got to admit that life is beautiful, and always has been... we've just been too angry, stressed and upset to acknowledge it.
