So I'm back.
It's senior year... and I can't say that I'm thrilled. I'm not really engaged in any of my classes to be honest. Even my Sociology of NYC class is proving to be a let down in some cases. I can't really say I'm happy to go to any of my classes save my yoga or TA class. I haven't been socializing much... I've missed many parties... even paid for one and then didn't go.
In the beginning it was a feeling of disbelief... how can I be a senior already? I just got here. Now it's a feeling of dread and frustration with being here. I just want to leave and be done with much of the people here. It's sad that I've felt like such an outcast during my time here. I know it's been a very important lesson for me in general. I know that its not part of my nature to be at the center of drama or large cirlces of people. I know that I only pick those who I know who are to be part of my life to be my close friends. But it didn;t make it easy for me here. I was always conflicted , wondering if there was something wrong with me for not being more social and more coheisive and blendable with the other people who I thought of as "cool"
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