Risk Taker

You know,

I can feel the layers of my old self sorta peeling off of me as times goes by. I worked a really amazing shift tonight where I bartended all night. It was great... the atmosphere was amazing, the students were cool.. the music was great. I dunno... I just felt more alive than I have in a long time. I felt confident and beautiful as I spoke to the people I served. It took some time at first, but I did warm up, and then it came naturally. I loved the music so much that I went up to the DJ and asked if he had a card.. he didn't, but he gave his promotional CD. Very happy about that.

All of this is giving me hope for my future. Tonight was the first night that I wished I had my camera on me! I haven't had that feeling in months! Good things seem to be coming my way. There's still much to be done, but I think things will fall into place. My apartment situation is looking like it will pan out better than I had hoped. It's still rather expensive but, I think I'll be happy there. I had my doubts, but we shall see. I was upset with the cost of cable and internet... but I guess I can do without cable... but I definitely need the internet.

I'm excited to be independent... at least a little. I want to make the effort to work hard enough to at least pay a bill or two... like cable & internet, which is damn near $100 a month, and groceries. Laundry is free, and that's something to be happy about. I hope this summer pans out well... I really want to get started on applying to part-time gigs so I can juggle classes so that I'll graduate on time.
And hopefully once I had in the Human Sex TA application, that too will work out and I'll get some practice working with people. There are so many things that I want to work out. Getting the Peer Advising gig is one of them. My only fear is that I'll get so caught up in all my changes that I fall really hard should some of them not work out as planned.

But that's a risk I want to take. I've realized that I have to take those chances, and start living life to the absolute fullest. I need to break away from my family and start taking steps to becoming more independent. I need to believe in myself, and know that I am 'responsible, cable and competent' just like Daniel says. I'm enjoying the process of learning all my strengths as well as weaknesses, I know what needs improvement, and what needs to be enhanced and cherished. Next year I hope I start to really blossom and make it my best.